This may seem a weird concept as finding the elusive ‘one’ seems an exciting adventure to be on, kind of a quest to find out where they are hiding and how they will make us a better person. However, the moment we accept ourselves as we are, with no circumstance that has to change to improve us, we find the elusive one. In spiritual circles it’s been pointed to as unity, maybe even enlightenment, but the recognition that love is never on the outside of us, in just one person, but lives within us as an inner experience is what we are all ultimately searching for. Oneness. If you want a life of fulfilment and love and all that good stuff we crave, it comes down to be willing to dare to live by your own heart’s truth with honesty, integrity and authenticity. Being bravely honest about who we are and what we feel, even at times where it can seem a bit scary, can become the greatest act and experience of love.
Relationships are such a beautiful part of having a human experience and that looking for love outside of ourselves, the highs and lows, the drama and intrigue, there’s nothing wrong with any of that. However, pinning our entire experience of love to only one person may set us up for a future fall and puts a huge amount of pressure on any partner. What would we do if they left, taking our only chance at feeling connected to love with them? We’d probably write songs or poetry, drink or eat too much and then find the next one once we had recovered a bit or we could pine forever! Yet if we find love as an inner unshakeable experience and fully give ourselves to that, sharing love from that space, that means we get to stay eternally connected to it. Which would you rather experience, temporary or permanent love?
What if there is no right or wrong in relationships, just discovery and choice? Only You get to choose what you’ll tolerate, settle for and live with, ever. No victimhood required where love’s concerned. You only ever have choice, especially choice to be true to who you are in any given moment, choice of the standards you’ll live by. If you love someone, love them, it doesn’t mean you have to be with them, as you can’t lose love. No one makes a wrong choice, they just make a choice and hope for the best. It’s only with hindsight that we can make anything right or wrong, good or bad. Everyone is ultimately looking for the ‘one’ - that experience of love that can make them feel whole. And if they look outside of themselves for that, it can be a long search. So let’s all give ourselves a break.
A decision to wait until everything seems perfect on the outside or to stay with someone so you don’t feel lonely or poor is not living from your heart's truth - that’s the mind settling for what it can get. The mind will forever keep you one step removed from the one as Love can only ever be experienced here, right now, and it is You as you are.
Big L kind of Love makes all things possible. Cease searching anywhere but inside yourself for that sense of completeness. You are deserving of it all. Absolutely share love with a special someone - date, marry, live with them, travel - it’s fun. Commit and make beautiful lives and babies together, but do it whilst living with authenticity and an open heart, discovering and knowing your experience of love begins with you. You deserve to live and love fully, wholeheartedly and that is without exception.
You’ve never done anything that would keep you from experiencing love as it starts with you and you’re already perfectly, completely, lovably you.
You are the One you’ve been looking for.
Written by :
The Love Monk (aka Lindsey Dayavati Best) is a meditation teacher, lover of life, speaker, writer, adventurer and all round love monger! Spreading and inspiring as much joy and love as possible, as life is such a short and precious journey, too precious to waste. She helps people from around the world to enjoy who they are, as they are, and inspires them to follow their dreams, through workshops, coaching and writings. Funny, spiritual and authentic she likes to keep her teachings easy and approachable, light hearted and always empowering.